Negotiating

I'm always negotiating time and how to spend it, establishing lists within my lists and setting priorities. What is more important, the fence repair or transplanting? its a tough call, it really is.

The thing is multi tasking is out of the question most times. That's what I loved about the restaurant biz, I could have five things going at once; soup on the stove, meat roasting in the oven, dough rising, chopping onions and talking on the phone. A life of farming requires one project at a time. The fence project for example is way off far from the rest of the farm so the fence is all I can work on. and lets face it multi tasking on a farm just leaves a lot of projects unfinished. But in the same breath I have to say that fencing is one thing that is never done. That's what has been so hard for me to get used to. In the restaurant the end of the day was the end of the day. On a farm the end of the day comes when you are dead asleep, and for however long you remain that way. This is more true when hundreds of animals are in the picture as well.

I'm just starting the busiest time of the year and I'm tyring to strike a balance and at least eat dinner before 9:pm, it makes for a slow start morning. Every year I go through this. How can I do all I need to do within 8 or 9 or 10 hours? The answer is always the same. I cant! I try to wrestle my thoughts and desire to control every moment of the day and wind up defeated every time, so I realize I have got to chill the fuck out! Lovingly. I'm starting to slowly change my expectations, but its a struggle at times. I love this life and I wouldn't change it for the world my challenge is simply to shift my expectations and my old way of thinking. To feel OK when I just have to stop for the day and breathe.

Out there yesterday working on the fence, I was alone with the frogs and all the life around me. The wild dogwoods filling my nose with a sweet honeysuckle scent. The warm sun on my shirtless skin, felt like heaven. The loud quiet was beautiful. and I almost finished the fence repair. I'll go out this morning put some finishing touches on it until the sheep tell me I've missed a spot, then I'll go at it again.