Sunday, January 2, 2011

Happy Sunday and Happy New Year!

All is well on the farm. Christmas and New Years was wonderful. We’ve gotten lots of rest and have had lots of quiet, peaceful walks and much contemplation and thought about going into the year ahead. Linda has had the week off and we both have had time to spend with the sheep and goats and that’s always nice. The writing has been going well, and I think it might take this time. But I miss blogging.
The chicks are doing remarkably well. They are starting to get their feathers and looking as cute as ever. The real test was the low of 8 degrees we woke up to this morning. Two brood lights in each pen worked great. When I went out to check on them they were fine and the water wasn’t frozen in their pen so I take that for a very good sign indeed. I am really starting to love them. I can just watch them forever. They play.

Coming into 2011 I’ve been having this reoccurring thought about confidence, self confidence, and it’s really been troubling me. See I feel really good right now. I feel like I made it through not just a hard but fulfilling last year but I’ve made it through the last four. I don’t know, I guess I feel well…confident. I feel good about the future. I feel good about myself. I feel like whatever life throws at me I can handle. Here is the problem most of my life especially my childhood confidence was seen as bad thing like arrogance. My parents bless their hearts had very little self confidence. Both recovered alcoholics by time I popped out of the womb they had some real issues to deal with. It’s not that they belittled me or made me feel bad or anything like that but what they had experienced in their life gave no reason for them to feel confident life was full of doubt, self doubt.

So I’ve been trained that when I feel confident I should doubt it, especially if I had anything to do with it. This was not so much spoken as it just was an attitude or rather family culture. Learning the difference between confidence and arrogance might have been a challenge for me. Even now I’m slowly learning the difference and how to identify this within myself. I don’t believe I’ve ever been either. Possibly self righteous at times I’m afraid. Any hoo I try to keep this all in check.

So I struggle with wondering if it’s okay to feel self confident. Or should I have doubt? Is doubt safer? After a lot of thought I think I’m going to go with self confidence. I know a lot of stuff but I also know there are tons more out there for me to learn. I know I am going to make mistakes and I know I’m not always going to be right. But I don’t have a fear of any of those things, being wrong is okay. I don’t have to always be right, I don’t have to be perfect. I trust my abilities. I feel this knowledge with-in me that if I shine with love all around me, laugh at myself, if I open myself to the true nature of peace, then when I do fall it will be much easier to get up. I feel confident in this.

So I’m pretty darn excited about the year ahead. I have fewer obstacles in my way that’s for sure. I’ve got two legs to stand on, a sharp knife and hoe, and I have really really good people in my life. I’m on my way!

So let’s have some breakfast!

Whole wheat yogurt blueberry waffles with blackberry syrup.
The blackberry syrup was actually supposed to be preserves I had canned from wild blackberries off the farm but… the pectin didn’t thicken (too sweet I think) and I have syrup instead. I have to say it’s incredible and works great for pancakes, ice cream and yogurt! The blueberries are from Debby Shanks farm, I don’t grow blueberries but until I do I’ll continue to buy and freeze for the winter. This makes about 6-8 waffles depending on the size of your iron.
1 ½ cup whole wheat flour
¾ teaspoon salt
2 T honey
4 T melted butter
2 eggs
1 ½ cup yogurt
1 cup blueberries
Plug that waffle iron in. If the blueberries are frozen thaw them a bit before adding to the batter. Mix all the dry ingredients, mix in the wet ingredients just until incorporated.

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