Tuesday, March 8, 2011

lets keep a sense of humor about this okay?

Last week I woke up with a terrible pain in my head. Jaw, sinus, eyes, ears plugged and ringing, neck, shoulder. It was awful. The pain was rich. When it got worse I made an appointment with my chiropractor thinking my atlas was out. I was in so much pain. I was mixing my own painkiller cocktail of 4 Ibuprofen, 3 Tylenol and 2 of some kind of sinus meds. I was up to 4 Advil every 2.5 hours. It was amazing. Sleep was impossible so I would just sit up in bed and stare, holding my face.

This has happened to me once before, last year about this time. Stress I guess, it causes me to clench and grind my teeth and really do a number on my jaw. But last year I thought it was a tooth so I went to the dentist and he couldn't find a thing wrong, so he recommended I see a chiropractor. I did and boy did that do the trick! Amazing. At that point I had been in pain for two weeks. This time I went to the chiropractor and also made an appointment with my dentist. What do you do when pain killers don't work? see someone and cry.

Well it was a good thing I went to the dentist cause this time it was the tooth, cracked and abscessing. Infection was very close to my sinuses and basically the tooth was fucked. SHIT! (I know, the language! but I was not expecting this at all. I like having my teeth! sorry if I've offended anyone one) minutes later the tooth was out. I felt like a truck ran over me. I didn't talk the whole way home and its not because I was by myself. I was stunned.

When I got home it was chore time, the Novocaine was wearing off and my face was sore. Thankfully Linda came home early and milked leaving me to morn my poor molar that I killed.
What happened!? Where is my Sufi/zen/hippy attitude. Why am I trying to work out my stress while I'm sleeping? Its getting harder and harder to meditate or take time for walks. I know I need these things and I know it helps. I've got to get out of the fast lane. There is no magic bullet its called breathing and being centered and keeping things in perspective I mean some people have real problems! But its hard for me to stop sometimes. And yes I actually catch myself holding my breath.

I feel like I'm being chased by a freight train. I've been trying as hard as I can to stay ahead but I feel it nipping at my heals. So here's the deal. I'm getting off. I'm going for a walk I'm going to spend some time today really going through things and prioritizing and cutting what is unnecessary right now. I'm going to breath, to pray to meditate and accept the grace that is available to me. And I if I am able to do this I will consider today a very productive day indeed and one well spent.

Thankfully several friends have offered to dig me out this weekend. Thanks to their help I'll be caught up. Grace and Friends.
Oh we had a boy today, a single, he's healthy and up eating. Uh, we're officially lambing now. 2 down 45 more to go.

Grace, grace, grace.

1 comment:

Lulu said...

Put the walk on your to do list:)