Monday, October 1, 2012

upon further reflection

The weather is changing and fast. I'm running now to keep up. The last few days I have not been able to sleep and have been feeling pretty stressed out. Saturday I couldn't sleep because I was stressed out about money. Was I going to have enough this winter? how was I going to pay for the rest of the hay I need ? will the greenhouse be put up in time? Last night it was fire wood and repairs that need to be made to the yurt before cold weather sets in, as I woke up shivering. During my sit this morning I felt hypothermic (at 51 degrees) and felt like crying! Aghhhhhh!

Stress ugly unrelenting stress. The kind of stress that only a good friend or sweet heart can talk you down from. Stress that disobeys logic and reason, that kind of stress. The question of survival stress. okay do you get it? ....... STRESS!!!!

I always manage to make it. I'll be okay. things will be tight, tough and cooler but I'll be fine. I'll be fed and safe and loved and those are the fruits to survive on. Wood will eventually get cut, repairs will eventually get made and things will all get done. Its October 1st. I am alive. Yes alive and well.

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