taking care

So... there has been a few things going on with me that has caused me to step back and re-evaluate my life a little. A few weeks back I think I had maybe a light case of heat stroke. Nothing life threatening but ever since I have felt terrible, stomach ache for hours after I eat and no energy. I started taking naps in the afternoon and that has help a little but you know when you get that feeling there is something just not right. I have that feeling. So over the weekend I decided to get quiet and bring awareness to my body to see if I could intuitively identify the problem and come up with a solution.

Diet of course came up for both Linda and I. I know I farm and vegetables should be coming out of my ears but that's not the case and the kinds of vegetables that are coming out of my ears are not especially nutrient dense. Cucumbers, okra, the last of the tomatoes some peppers and some volunteer arugula, well one can not live on this alone, so I have been supplementing my diet with more meat than I'm used to eating, lots and lots of bread and not the good kind either, just sliced wheat bread from wal-mart, I might spread some goat cheese on it or just butter but apparently its not flying because I feel like shit most of the time.

Feeling bad is not a state I am willing to remain in. I know the difference thankfully. Many people are so used to feeling bad that it becomes normal. I'm very sensitive to how I feel, how much energy I have and also my mood. Most of it especially in my case is perhaps diet. So Linda and I headed to whole foods yesterday and bought vegetables we didn't have yet; broccoli, cauliflower, kale, celery, carrots, diakon, celeriac, spinach, dandelion greens, adzuki beans, lentils, orange and papaya, black cherry juice, limes. besides Okra, a few cucumbers that are still making their way, those ingredients will be the basis of our diet. 

I have to admit its been a challenge for me not to feel like a failure because I have to buy vegetables for like the first time all season, but I have to do something and this makes sense so I am swallowing my pride here and shopping at Whole foods. The farmers markets have mostly the same things I do and what I really want and crave right now are cooler weather crops which I will have in about a month. But I don't think I can hold out.

For this week we'll eat mostly but not totally raw. The point is to level our insulin, and inflammation in our organs. Energy level, feeling better will be the positive consequences of that.I've also started back on my sitting routine, so each morning noon and evening I'll dedicate 20 minutes to meditation. That is a great gift I am able to give myself. This morning it was like being with an old friend, I slipped easily from one breath to the next. So I'm taking care of myself in ways that I know how. Hopefully I should see results soon.