life and death

This morning five lambs will have their first and last bad day. It slaughter day or if you’d rather it’s the day I take them to the processor. Either way they won’t be coming back in the same form they left in. On one hand I will miss them. I’ve gotten to know them a little. I’ve gotten accustom to their personalities and what their bodies look like and on the other hand I admire their health weight and shiny coats and feel so proud to be raising meat so healthy, so pure and so clean. These guys have been on fresh clean pasture for 9 months, they have lived their lives grazing on prairie grasses, broccoli stems, alfalfa and more recently whole corn. I’ve watched them fight, I’ve watched them play, I’ve watched them eat and sleep and for most I watched them be born. I’ve given them shots wormed them when they needed it nursed them back to health if they were sick and thought of them as my own children. But they’re not.

Each time I take a trip to the processer I can’t help but be a little sad. And every time I question whether I should be a vegetarian and every time I say no. I’ve given a lot of deep thought to my diet and what I eat, but now is not the time to go on about this. Now is time to give gratitude and appreciation. Now is to have a sense of pride on a job well done. Now is to live in the real world without illusions or distractions. Right now I am living my truth; I accept that there is pride and sadness.