un-time

I’m starting to feel slightly settled in here at the new farm. The goats and sheep love their new pasture and the chickens are frolicking in their new sweet pen. I’ve gotten the milking parlor worked out so milking has been going very smoothly. Pascal has finally settled down and is exploring and leading the sheep along the borders of the field. The Dogs are hard at work keeping predators away at night and the cool days make working outside such a complete pleasure. However, the Dogs who have no prior experience with cows are barking at them and it seems my “NO!!” only encourages them further. Need to fix this problem pronto. Making things a little frustrating!

It will take some days of un- packing boxes and re-arranging but all in all it does feel like home. I have however been feeling very overwhelmed by time. Last night while catching up on one of my favorite blogs (coldantlerfarm.blogspot.com) I read the date of her last post, it read, September 1st. I was utterly shocked. I missed 9/1. I’m still in 8/31. What the how did this happen????. How did September 1st sneak up on me? What day is it?

Last Sunday morning while milking I listened to a pod cast from Radio Lab on time. After, I decided part of my problem and why I seemed to be so overwhelmed was because I was not in sync with time. In my mind I was like a humming bird and everything seemed to be moving so slow outside of my world. I decided to look at time in a totally different way. Actually, not look at time. More directly not look at a clock. Just go with what was priority and base my day on the light. Even my traditional “list” was out. Sunday was the first day. You can’t believe what a difference it made. Without having time behind me egging me on, judging me, pushing me, chastising me every chance it got, I was free! It was blissful and you just can’t believe how much I got done (but it’s not about that!)

The second day, Monday I did the same thing. No clock. No list. Just sun and sweat and instinct of what task took precedence at that moment. Same with Tuesday, no clock, no lists. Well, let me just say that I didn’t even realized it was Tuesday until it was almost over. I feel like I accomplished as much as the day allowed. I ate, I worked, and I took a long walk in the forest inside a dry creek bed. I worked some more. I ate, I played with goats and then wrote. OK I think I might be on to something. This thing I’ve been doing, either chasing time or being chased by it just isn’t working for me anymore. Right now it’s about the journey. To where? I don’t know. To a working viable farm? Yes. To a life of calm peace? Yes that too. But I’ve given up on chasing my tail.

Kasey and I have started to get the ground ready for our fall/winter beds, the green house is ready to come over and our broccoli and cauliflower will be ready to put in the ground in a couple of weeks. Very exciting! Right now I’m Just trying to find my calm in the storm and reach some kind of harmony in all this chaos. Hopefully soon.