Writing it down

With the farm going at a pace I can manage its time for me to get back to the book, yea I'm writing a book. When I say it, I kind of just shrug it off cause writing can be a fickle little thing. Who knows where it will go. I've been working on it off and on... can you believe for the last six years. Yea not very encouraging is it. But writing is a process, and sometimes things just don't roll off the pen. But I'm going to give it another go.

The blog has helped me get into a writing routine which is important, but I've decided to hang the blog up for a little while and limit it to Sunday breakfast, so I can concentrate all of my efforts on the book. Or might I say, what might become a book that is. The point is I'm writing in a more deliberate manor.

I'm writing about my life in the restaurant biz and the transition into a full time farmer
So.....I'll tell you..This isn't the Title..but..' four seasons of meals, stories and meanderings from an Oklahoma farm.' what do you think? So lots of recipes from farm table dinners, lots of stories. I dunno I'm just gonna see what happens.

I put in six hours of writing yesterday so I'm off
Wish me luck and I'll see you Sundays for breakfast!

Grow down

This is the winter night I dreamt about all summer. A quiet evening after a satisfying early dinner with visitors, Now long gone on their journey east to Virginia I sit in the most comfortable warm items of clothing I can muster which happen to be farm print flannel PJ’s made by my niece Marnelle, scootched up to my private little space heater sitting in my favorite chair, doing one of my favorite things and drinking my favorite beverage, and listening to my favorite person snuggled up under fluffy blankets on the bed, banging away at the keys of her PC, giving me updates on our recently departed guests whereabouts. “they’ve made it to I40”.

It’s everything I’ve dreamed it would be. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I have made quite a hobby out of being self reflective and contemplative. It’s an easy thing to do when you spend most of your time with yourself, by yourself. I learned to get real comfortable with my flaws and my bright moments seem something to celebrate, and when I have them, bright moments. I do, I celebrate, with a whoop or a big knowing smile in the mirror, a sly wink at the goats as I walk by. When I have a bright moment all the animals on the farm know about it. I make a point to go around and give everyone a little extra attention. The dogs get a pat on the head and the chickens might just see a piece of dry cat food flung their way. I have more bright moments than I give myself credit for but the knuckle head moments just seem to stand out more. It’s like they have some kind of fluorescent marker on them so you can find them in the tall grass. They just never go away.

For the past month I’ve had the opportunity to really hone my hobby. I have neatly dissected the past year, thought about all that went wrong and all that went right and now I’ve had a whole two days of Christmas bliss of laying around the house reading and contemplating, and you know what I’m ready to put it to bed. The past that is, the blood, guts and smelly things. Gone, and what I have left are wonderful glorious, beautiful lessons! Little presents of wisdom that will keep me safe I hope. I won’t miss these things I’ve given myself heck about for the last umpteen months. I know there will be plenty of new things that will cross my path, but it’s kind of nice to leave some stuff behind. It doesn’t need me anymore and I don’t need it. The best thing about it and the thing I notice the most right now is how much easier it is to look forward. The future doesn’t seem so ominous and mysterious and fateful.

I’ve started the process of planning the coming year. Just for the record I have to for my organic certification records; estimated crop yields etc. last year when I was doing this I felt as if I was walking on a frozen pond. In Oklahoma. Just as I would take another step I would hear the creaking and cracking of the ice. I could go no further. Today feels so incredibly different and I feel as free as a bird. The funny thing is there are no plans for growth, no big new ideas, as a matter of fact not a whole lot will change from last year, and it will be better. I’m growing down. Focusing on the roots of the farm, the stability, the viability. I want to take what the farm does best and perfect it. I want to take what the farm doesn’t do well (or more aptly what I don’t do well at) and scratch it. Grow down.

I’ll be taking far less CSA members but providing them with a higher percentage of their diet. I’ll be growing in a smaller space but able to build the fertility in the soil so more production is possible. I’ll still have just as many farm table dinners and I’ll still take two interns, but I’ll be able to breathe and this sounds so completely glorious to me. Simply put I’ll just be concentrating my efforts. I’m not saying the work won’t be hard and there won’t be struggles and I won’t stop being poor, but I actually feel like for the first time in many years my clothes are finally fitting. That means something to me.

I have found no greater joy than living this life on a farm, I have never felt more satisfaction from working a twelve hour day filthy dirty and sweaty than I have from a day cleaning out barns and weeding beds of corn. There is no sweeter smell of that which comes from morning soil heating from the sun, or that of wool on the sheep as I push my nose deep into the warming girth. There is no flower more beautiful than an okra blossom. And not a more beautiful a person than the one whom I get to spend this life with and share these wonderful things with. I feel as free as a bird.

giving in

Yesterday was a perfect winter day. cold. Light winds. There were many ducks on the pond, birds singing and chirping like it was Spring or something. List-less, I went about my day. I hung out mostly in the green house because it was eighty degrees in there and I weeded with the lightest T-shirt on I could find. I kept an ear out on the road because I was expecting deliveries;propane, hay. The chickens got my weedings and clucked and scratched about them happily. Fresh green stuff!

I missed my list.

Neurotic was suggested to me over dinner when I was explaining how much comfort a list gives me. Actually most of the day I was trying to figure out why I should not write a list and have time to rest also. Like eating my cake and pie at the same time, or however that saying goes. That cannot possibly be a bad thing. Cake and Pie and all the eating! That sounds like heaven to me. I'll have another piece!

I mean who am I trying to fool here. This is a farm. There is never a time when a list is not needed. So much goes on here, things must be noted down. A hay feeder that needs a new screw. A shelter that needs to be moved. I mean come on the work never ends. Why should I feel bad about that and try to pressure myself into "relaxing" I mean what is that?

So this morning after my normal journal entries I wrote a list! I even put time lines to the tasks so I could see if I could get most done with in a reasonable eight hour day. Oh the pleasure and satisfaction that brought! like thumb sucking! (i quit that a long time ago, but I remember).
However I'm actually a few minutes late for my first chore. So already I'm running behind. Oh the joy!

Rain is likely tomorrow and the possibility of snow. I want to enjoy Christmas Eve with not a worry in the world.
For those of you who celebrate Christmas I hope you have a wonderful day full of love and the spirit of Jesus. For those of you who don't I'll see you at the movies!

hung up

The only thing that's going right now at the farm is the high tunnel and my CSA. For the time being the garden is dormant, the sheep are eating, the goats are dried up, the chickens are doing what they do which is mostly eat, same with the chicks, and the farm is for the most part resting. A load of round bales comes today and the propane company and that's what I have to look forward too. Oh and the peace and quiet.

Actually. I'm absolutely stir crazy! I don't know what to do with myself. I worked in the green house for a couple of hours and came in and started looking at my list which only had a couple of things on it. So I sat and stared at the computer like I was waiting for it to tell me what to do. I cleaned, I surfed the Internet and I basically looked around for things to do. I didn't fold laundry. I should have but I didn't.

I set the alarm for 6am this morning and woke up at 4:50, both of us did. Wide awake. So I've got two weeks of this. Come January I'll get the onion seeds started and start getting some beds ready for the first planting. Two weeks of "vacation" sort of. So whats my flipin' problem. I don't know how to relax? I feel guilty some how.

Well today I'm going to practice relaxing. After chores I'll leisurely do some light weeding in the green house and maybe after I'll bake some bread and start working On the Living Kitchen farm table dinner cookbook. That sounds kind of fun to me. Instead of sitting at my desk I'll sit in the chair next to the heater with some tea. That will make it less work like. And I might, if I feel like it read or take a nap. Oh and I'll take a walk. I'll do some yoga and practice some breathing. I am not making a list! even though I sort of just did.

I might need to go into town and sit at the gas station and watch TV. No need to try to get all this in on one day. I have TWO WEEKS!

I will fold laundry today.

Flat iron yogurt crepes with peaches

Yogurt crepes

2 eggs

1/2 cup water

1 1/2 cup yogurt

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

pinch salt

1 cup flour

1/4 stick melted butter

Mix the eggs, water, yogurt, vanilla and salt. Add the melted butter and the flour whisk until smooth. Refrigerate while you prepare the filling. In our case. We have a bunch of frozen peaches from the summer, so for us its peaches. but you could use any fruit. We also love our eggs around here so a couple over easy's plus some summer sausage that was given to us yesterday by Rae from Blakley Family farms was a dream!

This Sunday breakfast makes my top 10 list! The crepes were incredible!

So get your flat iron hot. (dont use any oil) With a chef spoon or small ladle pour the batter into the middle of the pan, then spread it with the spoon in a circular motion moving out to the edges of the pan. Let it cook until the top is not battery, then flip and cook on the other side for just a second or so. If you cant get the crepe to flip you need to let it cook more on the first side. It took me two practice crepes to get it down.

The recipe will make 10

I might lay down now for a few minutes.

Dried up and the maybes

This time of year the goats milk production goes down substantially. We still have just over two months until kidding and two months is the time that the we dry the girls up. That just means we gradually just stop milking them. Mostly they dry themselves up. I thought we would make it until after Christmas but no deal the girls were only giving us a few quirts. This means that we don't milk until kidding so we get a little milk maiden vacation. Kind of nice. But it also means no milk. We love their milk. So its a bitter sweet story.

So I have several cheeses that are aging for my CSA and other than that I'll be buying raw cow milk from Judy @HLA www.oklahomarawmilk.com to have in my coffee, drink and make yogurt. When I cant drink my own I go see Judy.

So this is the time of year things really slow down. I can go to once a day now with feeding hay and grain, the chickens still need me. and don't forget the baby chicks so I'll still have plenty to do. But maybe now is time to start that reading list? maybe now its okay to keep the office a little more organized. Maybe I'll be able to keep up on laundry now. Maybe a couple more walks now and then. Maybe I'll draw or paint. Maybe more bread baking. Maybe a morning waking up after the sun comes up? Maybe a cleaner house. Maybe.....a vacation? A short trip to Seattle for a weekend? Both of us at the same time. Together?
Maybe?
Feb 19th Kids hit the ground! Lambing begins and the farm explodes with life. Maybe I could get some rest before then?
Maybe?

santa diaries

Okay, I tried to upload the photo of Santa, but for some mysterious reason it came up blank. But.... last night I had dinner with Mr. Santa and his "partner" at Biga and he told me one of his elves had been getting really depressed, big worry this time of year but much to my surprise quite common. So the sad elf went to a therapist and was told he had low elf esteem!

Santa told me this he really did and he laughed a ho ho ho after.

Poor elf.

So I'm feeling a little full of it today. At 6:15 am the post office called, the chicks had arrived!

I have 108 sweet little one day old chicks! I am so excited. They grow up so fast. One by one I put the chicks in the brooder dipping their beak in the warm molasses water. They were running around the brooder it was so funny. They've been cooped up in a little box for 24 hours so they are ready to fly! I watched all of them take their first drink of water and then I put the food in and they went nuts! Man they eat a lot! So I got 50 black astrolorps (brown eggs, lay great in the heat of the summer) and 50 Americanas (blue eggs).

This is the first time I have gotten my chicks so early. I usually get them in March but I realized 31 weeks puts their laying cycle close to August and I didn't have enough eggs for my CSA members. So this way I'll have some roll over and have eggs in May from this group. The others will still be laying so I should have a steady supply. We'll see how this works. I do have to make sure they stay plenty warm so that's a consideration. I might be a little excited!